Hello. It’s me, the guy in the top hat, yeah, the one you’re looking at right now.
Sorry I can’t face you as we speak, but they told me to face forward. “Whose they?” you ask, well, the same guys who created Banquest. What they didn’t realize, unless they did, is that when you tell the guy in the ad to face forward, you have just removed any hope of him ever having a face in the first place. So, technically, it’s impossible for me to really face forward.
So I was introducing myself.
When they placed me on this land of gray rocks and grayer clouds, they instructed me to, and I quote, “look into the future, beyond the horizon, past what your eyes (eyes!?) can see”. When I heard that, I was sure I would be advertising some sort of spiritual/metaphysical seminar, or something close. I mean, the last time I was told to “see beyond yourself” I was advertising a women’s-only-drug-rehab-through-nature-and-ballet program. I think.
But no, they tell me I’m working for a credit card processing company. What that has to do with horizons and eyes is anyone’s guess, and it’s definitely too big of a challenge for someone who just has a sheet of hair to claim as his head (me). So, I tried my hardest to look into the horizon and beyond the future, but I hear them tsk-tsk-ing behind me, “you need to look pensive, contemplative, and pondering”.
At that point, it was getting a little too much for someone even so ad-seasoned like myself, and I was just about ready to tell them to go find some other 2D figure to drive up a wall.
But then they handed me a red suitcase and a stick, and that changed everything! Never, in all my years of advertising, was I ever given such wonderful accessories. I felt like I was finally going places (like to the next rock, or the one after that).
Then and there, I made up my mind to stick with Banquest, full face or half.
Because honestly, a company that treats its clients like family, is committed to their best interests (and saves them money as well), is the company I keep.
And so should you.